I have been blessed to be able to teach this unit of study and have loved researching love, more specifically, Agape. Not that I hold any authority on the subject or even know how to teach it adequately, but I do know I've experienced Agape and am excited to explore how to allow God to express His love through me more consistently. Following our first class, I sat in the choir loft listening to our church organist play "The Old Rugged Cross" yesterday and realized it was the first time I'd heard that song since I was a little girl sitting in the pew of Liberty Hill Baptist Church between my grandparents and mom. It was before the days of church nurseries or childcare, and my mom would write us notes or create goblets and swans out of gum wrappers to entertain us during the minister's spirited sermon. It dawned on me that this was Agape in action. My mom cared so much about our faith that she was willing to sit and entertain four children for over an hour just to set an example of the importance of worship.
Not that I was daydreaming during my own church service, but I couldn't keep my mind from contemplating how little we truly manage to practice an Agape kind of love, so I decided to post my notes from the Sunday school lesson yesterday in hopes that they might encourage someone who is finding someone in his/her life a little tough to love or who just needs to understand that our heavenly Father is always showing Agape, if we'll just receive it or to encourage moms who might grow weary of always setting that example for our children. Take heart; one day when you least expect it, they'll recall, appreciate, and share the lesson.
Speaking the Father's Language
“What is Love?” “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” “Love Stinks” “Love is Blind” “Love Hurts” “I’ve Got Your Love to Keep Me Warm”
Perhaps your thoughts on love mirror one of the above statements, or maybe you have a few more to add to the list. The quest to define love has led to wars both inside and outside the home. Wherever you currently stand, it’s hard to deny that as Christians, we are called to take off the blinders put on by society’s love expectations and to put on the Holy Spirit and love in a radical way. So, what exactly does that mean? What is Christian love supposed to look like? To truly understand what biblical love looks like, we need to examine the different Greek words for love.
When many of us think of love, we picture that floating-on-clouds-feet-not-touching-the-ground-butterflies-in-the-tummy-can’t-think-of-anyone-or-anything-else kind of love. That kind of love is Eros. The word actually means “’longing or desire’ and is a selfish love that asks what can I get for myself?” (53)
Another Greek word for love is Philos. Think brotherly love, as is Philadelphia, city of brotherly love (unless the Phillies just won the Series then it can be pretty ugly). It can also be defined as love among friends. In 1 Peter 3:8, we are called to “love the brethren.” The word used for love here is philadelphos, from the word philos (friend) and adelphos (brother). (57) In light of the season, interestingly. Phileo can also mean “kiss” and is the Greek word used when Judas betrays Christ with a kiss. In other cultures a kiss on the cheek denotes friendship.
We are going to focus on the other Greek word for love, which is Agape. Agape is “divine love that is propelled by the highest interest, where we are called to surrender to an act of God’s spirit which results in obedience.” (59) Agape is not an emotion; it is a response that can only be accomplished through the power of the Holy Spirit. We see Agape used in Christ’s commands for us to love; we see it in Christ describing his own love for us. Agape is the word used for love in the following verses. 1 John 4:16, 19- We know and believe the love God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. We love because God first loved us. We are capable of responding in Agape because God first “Agaped.” How did He first demonstrate Agape. Well, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
John 3:16 states that For God so loved (agape) the world, that He gave his only son that whosover believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. We also find our command to Agape in Mark 12:31 “Which commandment is the greatest?” Jesus answered…..The Lord our God, the Lord is one; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ In these verses, each time you see the word love, Agape is the Greek word used.
And we see Agape in Galatians 5:22, the Fruit of the Spirit verses and that brings us to the heart of our discussion (get it, heart). When we receive Christ, the Holy Spirit takes up residence in us, and as a result we are told that we not only have great power, the power of the living God alive and at work in us, but we are also called to conform to Christ’s likeness through the power of this Spirit at work in us. That just means we are to die to the flesh, to the self, and grow in the Spirit, to allow the Spirit to work in us. The result of that working is the producing of fruit, the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. This is what walking in the Spirit should look like in our lives. Note the fruit is singular; it is all of these qualities combined into one fruit, they must work together to be fruitful or productive, which is why I will be defining a few of those qualities that really seem to go hand-in-hand with achieving agape for those in our lives who often make us cringe.
A few notes here: love is agape. The word for patience, which will be important in our later discussion of how Christians are called to love, is Makrothumia. Makrothumia means “to be long suffering, self-restraint before proceeding to action, the quality of a person who is able to avenge himself and refrains from doing so.” (119) This differs from another biblical occurrence of patience, think Job, which is hupome. Hupome is where we get our word hope and means perseverance. Makrothumia involves patience with people, while hupome involves patience with circumstances. We’ll definitely see the difference in our discussion.
Now, back to Agape. Question, when you think of love and the Bible, what verses immediately come to mind? Think weddings, think weddings, think weddings. Did you say 1 Corinthians 13? That is what I was hoping would come to mind! This is often referred to as the love chapter. I am going to challenge you to see it in new light. This verse tells us what love (agape) is and what love isn’t. It also can be seen as qualities, I believe of God, because as we learned in 1 John 14:19 God is Agape.
WHAT LOVE IS
Patient
Kind
Rejoices in Truth
Keeps no record of Wrongs
Protects
Trusts
Hopes
Perseveres
WHAT LOVE IS NOT
Boastful
Jealous
Proud
Rude
Self-Seeking
Easily Angered
Delight in Evil
Failure
First of all, understand, 1 Corinthians 13 isn’t written to married couples. It is written to Christians. We are not just called to love our spouses in this manner; we are called to love our enemies in this manner. Yes, in Matthew 5:44, where it says to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, the word agape is used there, too! So, this is written to Christians who are commanded to Agape all as Christ Agaped us!
Allow me to quickly make a few comments on the specifics of some of the words in this list. Here patient is makrothumia. Remember our definition of makrothumia??? Enough said. We are called to practice makrothumia.
Kind is from the Greek word chresteuomai which means to show oneself useful.
Pride. Hmmmm. I believe this is the one that most prevents us from loving as we are called to do so. Again, my thoughts, but let’s examine how pride can ruin a relationship. “You just don’t know him.” “You can’t possibly expect me to see things as she does.” “It’s not me; you just spend ten minutes with her, you’ll see.” I am right; you are wrong. I refuse to see that it might be me and even if it isn’t….hmm….you get the picture. We are called to not be proud, to…gulp….swallow our pride, our ego, and humble ourselves in love. Our King washed the feet of his disciples, which I imagine is the modern day equivalent of cleaning their toilet, perhaps. For it to be such an example of humility, it must have been a task that most would try to avoid, yet he performed it in love. The Son of God came to serve in humility. For more on what pride can do, check out Psalm 10:4- in their pride, the wicked do not seek God. How about 2 Chronicles 26:16- we are told outright pride led to King Uzziah’s downfall. Proverbs 11:2 tells us pride brings disgrace, humility wisdom. In Daniel we learn King Belshazzar was stripped of his glory and throne due to pride, he fell into the hands of the Babylonians when he failed to heed the writing on the wall. Pride, an unwillingness to let go of our own notions of how it should be, an unwillingness to yield. (my own definition.)
Okay, now that I’ve revealed that pride in relationships is something I struggle with…..I’m done with my sermon to self. Love does not seek self. Does not seek self. Christ clearly did not seek self at any point of his earthly ministry. He sought our best interest and still does. Isn’t so much of our inability to not show agape rooted in our on self-interest, in our, my, desire to stand up and say, “Look at me. Look at what I can do! Me! Please see and affirm me!” In our desire for affirmation, to feel important, to be somebody, we step on others in the climb upward. Love, true agape, isn’t about me. It’s about you; it’s about Him!
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth and it always protects. The Greek word for protect is stego and it means “to cover in silence.” (65) I love the image Beth Moore painted of this concept in her study Living Beyond Yourself. Love “does not expose the faults of others. When we exercise agape toward an individual no matter how well we know him or her, we would not expose his or her faults to others (even if they “deserve” it- my note). It is the word picture of covering an individual with such a cloak of love that the fault cannot be seen.” (p. 65) What an image! What if we practiced that in our marriages and friendships and just in our relationships in general? Takes humility, doesn’t it.
“Agape is divine love that originates in the heart of God….expressed through us to others” (66) Hopefully, through understanding the concepts from Love Languages in the next few weeks, we can be more cognizant of our own expression of agape and how to be sure that is the kind of love we express in all of our relationships. I challenge each of us to Agape and am willing to step out on a limb and say it’ll change your life, Christ will change your life when you allow Him to show you how to love!
Sources: Blue Letter Bible online and Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit Beth Moore
