Saturday, January 1, 2011

I Resolve

This year I resolve to write more. It has been almost a year since I last blogged, and I miss writing. It's a part of who I am and what I love to do, and it's absence has left me feeling a bit incomplete. I'm not quite sure why I've taken such a hiatus; it wasn't planned. I'm sure part of it is time, but I think more realistically perhaps part of me is afraid that someone might not like what I say. Ridiculous, I know, but maybe I haven't felt as free to write what I'm thinking, so I've just chosen to remain mum on things I've really yearned to give voice to. So, I guess I'm also resolving to be me, hopefully, entertaining, frank, yet funny, thought-provoking and at times, hysterical, at least that's the goal. God has blessed me with a gift of and a love for writing, and it's time I exercised that gift for myself and for my audience of (let's be optimistic) ten, granted most of those are related either by blood or marriage. So, this year, I resolve to write!

I also resolve to worry less, stress less, and simplify more. I resolve to let go of those things that clutter, rather than enhance my life or the lives of those around me. I resolve to learn how to say, "No," respectfully and kindly. I resolve to be more "in the moment" with my husband and children and not let the concerns of what I "should" be doing interfere with the only thing in the world worth doing at all. I want my children to look back on their time home with mom and say, "I don't know when my mom cleaned the house. She was always playing games with us or playing dolls or playing ball." I want our time to be meaningful, special, magical, even.

I resolve to be a better wife; to be more fun, to relax, to be less serious, and to take myself less seriously. More smiles, fewer scowls. I resolve to stop comparing myself, my parenting, my athleticism (stop laughing), my business sense, my "successes", my fill in the blank, with those of others and to stop worrying about what others think. Galatians 4:5 in The Message reads, "Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself to others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life." I love that, and I resolve to do just that this year. Finally, I resolve to let go and let God.