Body Worlds RX: A Review of McWane's Newest Exhibit

My son raises his hands, formed in the shape of a heart, to my face and says, "Mommy, it's not shaped like this at all.  Why do people say a heart is shaped like this?"

We are examining an actual heart that has been preserved by Plastination.  It is clearly in the shape of a fist, not the traditional heart-shape we've all come to associate with love.  "Well," I respond, "I'm not sure where that depiction came from.  As you can see, a heart is more in the shape of a fist."  My son shakes his head and moves along to the next exhibit.

The human heart is just one of many fascinating organs on display at the McWane Science Center's "Body Worlds Rx: Prescriptions for Healthy Living" exhibit.  As a homeschooling mom, I'm often looking for ways to bring science to life in a meaningful way for my children; in this exhibit, science leaps from the pages of the textbook into a network of displays that could capture children's interest for hours.  As a long-time visitor to the McWane Science Center, this is easily my favorite of all the exhibits I have visited at the museum.

The kids had the opportunity to touch an actual brain and heart

"Body Worlds Rx" is located on the third floor.  When visitors enter the exhibit, they are greeted by the displays of actual human bodies, which reveal different organ and body systems.  Anatomist Dr. Gunther von Hagens, who invented a way to preserve the human body in such a way it can be displayed for viewing to the general public, has paved the way for an innovative way to educate the public on the intricate, delicate workings of the human body.  His science is called Plastination, which hardens the different parts of the body.  This new science was unveiled at McWane on January 27th.

My children pose with one of the models.  This model illustrates the network of bones and muscles in the body.

Visitors begin their tour of the exhibit with a close-up examination of the bones and muscles then travel through the different body systems, including circulatory, digestive, endocrine, neurological, respiratory, etc.  Each of the organs on display is an actual, preserved organ, not simply a man-made model.  The exhibit also highlights different ailments that afflict a body when it isn't properly maintained.  "Body Worlds Rx" presents an explanation of each body system that is easily comprehended, and even offers actual models of diseased organs and systems, often comparing them to healthy ones.  It is an exhibition that is perfect for educating young and old on the importance of healthy living.

A look at the large intestine

An up-close look at the organs and their actual location within the body

The exhibition includes many displays that are simply viewed, but there are plenty of hands-on activities including a dummy for practicing CPR and a working blood-pressure cuff.  The exhibition merges physical displays with technology, including an interactive display that shows what happens in the body when movement occurs.  Entertaining videos, perfect for children, further explain complicated body systems and the diseases that affect those.  My favorite section is on healthy eating; this exhibit captivated my children and clearly illustrated the importance of healthy eating in an impactful way.  While the idea of looking at preserved specimens of an actual human body might leave some squeamish, the exhibition is kid-friendly, especially for elementary and up.  I can't emphasize how ideal this exhibit is to use in conjunction with a unit on the human body.  I can't imagine a more realistic, impactful opportunity, outside of a university medical class.  Parents should rush their children to view this imaginative, if not astonishing, exhibit.  The first visit is free for members but costs $2 for subsequent visits.  Non-members can expect to pay $5.00 plus museum admission.

Watching one of the many short videos

A simple, but effective explanation of cancer

My children, captivated by a video on healthy eating

The importance of healthy eating

A pictorial display on the what people in other countries eat

Display of nervous system

Working and Homeschooling: Finding Balance

I toss a stack of books into the leather ottoman that discreetly stores my children's textbooks.  A and C gather pencils , clean excess paper and schoolwork off the dining room table then rush off to read silently for half an hour while I dress for work.  My husband and I discuss dinner and practice schedules, and I leave a few last minute instructions with the kids before I head out to the library where I will spend the next five hours tutoring.  My husband steps in to handle the afternoon duties of shuttling the kids to practice, feeding them dinner, and preparing them for bed.  When I return home from work, I will run upstairs where my two little ones are waiting patiently for books and good night hugs, thus ending another day for our homeschooling family.

An oft-repeated comment I hear from moms who wish to homeschool is "I'd love to homeschool, but I have to work."  I'm often greeted with looks of surprise when I share that not only do I work but so do many of my homeschooling friends.  Working mom and homeschooling mom need not be mutually exclusive.   In fact, working while homeschooling can provide real-world learning experiences for your own children.

While working and homeschooling is possible, it isn't always easy.   If you decide to tackle working while homeschooling, you might need to rethink your vision of work.  It probably isn't realistic to assume you can maintain a career as a full-time doctor or lawyer and adequately school your children without reevaluating your schedule, especially when your children are young.  In my family, my husband and I both run businesses from home and are able to swap easily between work and school.  My son often works on his math and spelling while my husband fields business calls in his office.  C enjoys watching his dad in action.  If you happen to be a nurse, you could possibly schedule shifts for weekends or evenings and school on off days and in the mornings.  As children become more independent in their schooling, which is ultimately the goal (self-directed learning), schedules can resume a more traditional path.

Finding balance in work and homeschool is often the most difficult challenge, and some careers more easily allow this balance.  Here are a few traits, compiled from conversations with working homeschooling moms, that successful homeschooling moms tend to share.

1.  They work from home or work in careers with flexible scheduling.  

I run a tutoring business and meet with students in the afternoon and evenings.  This leaves the morning free to school my children.  I also schedule one weekday free for field trips and have chosen not to work on weekends to protect family time and worship.  I also teach one day a week at a co-op that allows my children to come with me to work and even provides childcare.  If you excel in a certain subject area and enjoy working with children, tutoring is an excellent career.

My friend, Jennifer, works the early morning and evening shift at a local YMCA.  She's home during the middle of the day with her children.  Any job that allows a split-shift is ideal.  Retailers will often allow this.  My friend, Michele, is a rep with Premier Designs.  Most of her work is completed at night, and she simply schedules jewelry showings around her children's schedules.  With a little research, you can find many careers that allow for flexible scheduling.  I have friends who monogram, friends who bake, friends who edit copy.  With ingenuity, most hobbies can become entrepreneurial endeavors.

2.  They include their children in their work.

If you run a business from home, your work provides an ideal learning experience for your child.  What better real-world experience than to allow your child to watch and to even participate in the running of your business.  Michele, a rep for Premier Designs, allows her young daughter to place labels on catalogs and assist in creating hostess packets. She even incorporates her business into their homeschooling lessons.  I, too, try to incorporate lessons from business into homeschooling.  Recently, my daughter was learning about sales tax.  My husband displayed several receipts from his business and illustrated for my daughter how his business charges and pays certain taxes in transactions.  We were then able to discuss how the government uses our tax money. 

Early in my homeschooling career, I bemoaned the fact I had to work, feeling it took time away from my children.  Now, I view it as an opportunity.  My children
experience a true laboratory of learning as they observe my husband and I tackle the day-to-day challenges that come with running a business.  They understand how entrepreneurship works.  As society changes, more and more people will work from home or will run small businesses.  They will learn how to better balance aspects of home, work, church, and family from experience rather than theory.  Michele's older children have shown an interest in entrepreneurship as she's shared her business with them.  In fact, several young homeschoolers run successful businesses now.  They are already honing the skills necessary to developing a successful career.

3.  They create balance in their lives and have a support system.

The key to successfully creating an ideal work/homeschool environment is balance.  When I first began homeschooling, I had just started my business.  I was trying desperately to build a network while also trying to both research curriculum and create a homeschool.  I was teaching 18 hours a day, either my own or children of my clients. I experienced burnout and was staring down the long, dark road of depression.  I realized that to adequately provide for my family, I needed to find balance, so I decided to trust God's promise to provide and prayerfully considered what was absolutely necessary to include in my day.  I narrowed the focus of my business to just include ACT/SAT tutoring, I turned down several volunteer and work opportunities, accepting only those I truly felt called to do, and I decreased my work hours.  Within months, I felt my health and faith restored, and my children learned a lesson by watching their mom evaluate her schedule and make difficult but necessary choices to improve her family's quality of life.  I also taught my children that it is okay to say no, even to good things because better opportunities lie ahead.  I hope I also taught them a lesson in having faith.

The moms I know who handle this successfully also carve out time in their day for themselves.  This may be a bible study, hour at the gym, or twenty minutes with a book.  It's also important to spend quality time with your spouse.  Give your children positive associations with work.  Michele places ten percent of her jewelry earnings in a "fun jar" and the family reaps the benefits of her hard work together in an enjoyable activity.  This, too, is an example of balance.  Money is tithed, saved, spent, and enjoyed.

Successful working homeschool moms also ask for help and delegate responsibilities to their children.  Your child is capable of cleaning the bathroom and of preparing simple meals.  Enlist the help of your spouse.  My husband is a true partner in our homeschool and folds laundry with more precision than I ever could.

So, yes, if you feel led to homeschool but feel that it's impossible to reconcile that calling with your need to work, know it's possible.  There are thousands of moms balancing work and school and not at the expense of their children but to their benefit.  Though it isn't always easy and requires a true evaluation of priorities and expectations, there are many fulfilling careers that fit your desire to contribute to your family's income with your desire to homeschool.  

Clarifying a Few Things

A few days ago I published a post that provoked a strong reaction.  While I didn't find it to be a particularly polarizing post, I struck a an unexpected chord.  When discussing the post with a dear friend, she wisely pointed out that posts involving personal choice usually are the most polarizing.  Because I feel like what I was trying to intimate was misunderstood, I wanted to clarify what my post was and what it was not.

My post, which can be accessed here (the phrase "confined in a classroom taking standardized tests" was edited out of the original after thinking about how harsh it sounded), was intended to be an expression of gratitude.  I've alluded to this in earlier posts, but those who've heard my story about deciding to home school will understand why I feel so grateful.  My daughter attended public school in kindergarten.  This coincided with my needing to go back to work because my husband's job in the construction industry had been hit hard by the crash in the housing market.  My son was only two at the time, so I knew I couldn't go back to work full-time; I decided to begin my own business.  Before I knew it, I found myself working almost 40 hours a week, mostly on evenings and weekends.  So, our normal day began with me dropping my daughter off at school at 7:20, picking her up around 2:45, working on any reading or worksheets she had been assigned before I rushed off to work from 4-9:30, and my husband rushed home to take over our evening routine.  Many weekends were also spent working much of the day, as well.  Our afternoons were rushed, leaving very little opportunity for my daughter and me to have moments like the ones I described in my controversial post, and often culminated with my daughter and me sitting in a puddle of shared tears.

Three months into this schedule, I visited my doctor for a routine check-up, where he simply asked how I was doing and I erupted into a sob that lasted at least forty-five minutes.  When I finally found myself able to coherently mutter a sentence, I explained my stressful new schedule.  He prescribed anti-depressants, and while these kept me more sane, I still found myself on the brink of what I can only describe as a near-nervous breakdown.  I teetered dangerously on the edge of full-scale depression.  I desperately needed to spend time with my sweet girl, but I also needed to establish a fledgling small business.  I realized I didn't simply need a prescription, I needed a change.  That April, I tutored a student for ACT.  Her confidence and sense of self captured my attention.  When I asked where she attended school, I discovered she had been home schooled her entire life and was preparing to graduate early. This piqued my interest in home schooling.  When summer finally arrived, my husband and I sat down to evaluate our options, and I believe God answered desperate prayers by opening the door to homeschooling.

Prior to my daughter starting school, it had never occurred to me that homeschooling was an option.  I didn't realize that anything other than the traditional public or private school option was a possibility.  That summer, I read every book I could find on the topic.  I called the parents of students I had tutored who where home schooled.  I prayed and prayed and prayed and finally, my husband and I decided this fit our family perfectly.  For the first time in a year, I finally felt a sense of peace.  I was astonished to discover that, as a parent, I had an actual choice in how my child could be educated, and the possibilities that lay before us were wonderful and endless.  Our children's schooling could fit our family's personality and lifestyle, and I could continue a fulfilling career of working with children from public, private, and home schools in a career that I felt was, in its own way, a ministry.  While our first year of home schooling proved challenging, it didn't compare to the previous year, which honestly had been one of the most difficult experiences of my life.  My daughter loved our new routine, and our relationship began to resemble the mother/daughter relationship I had always envisioned.

So, last week, as I spent a relaxing morning with my daughter, (a morning that had followed a particularly difficult day of homeschooling) before I went to work that evening, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude.  If we had continued the pace we kept when A was in public school, that moment would not have existed.  I would have missed this opportunity with my girl, and I just wanted to express what a gift homeschooling has been for our family.  It has literally been a God-send.

I have always wanted to write about home schooling, but I've been afraid that anything positive I say will be misconstrued as an attack on public education or on parents who send their children to public or private schools, so I've kept quiet, only posting a few times a year details about our journey, but home schooling is such a part of my life and I'm such a proponent of the freedom it offers parents, that I want to write about it more often, so I wanted to clarify my position on a few things.  Not that my position matters, but I want it to be fairly represented in comments.

Now, what the post was not. That post was not was an attack on parents who choose public schooling for their children nor did it imply that public school parents care less about their child's education than I do mine. Those who truly know me understand that is absurd.  Most of my friends choose public school, and I know they care deeply about their child's education.  They are at the library choosing books to enrich their child's interest; they are seeking camps to enhance their child's education; they are at the school volunteering at any available opportunity.  I love and respect each of them and their individual choice to choose what educational method best fits their family's needs.

I celebrate that we live in a country that allows parents to choose the educational model that best fits their individual family's needs. One person's choice for public or private or home school does not mean it is a condemnation of someone else's choice.  I think we need to let go of the idea that there is only one correct way to educate our children.  Parenting is difficult, and what we need is to support and encourage each other, as long as our choices are not immoral or dangerous.  The Bible doesn't say much in particular about educational methods but Proverbs tells parents to "train up a child in the way he should go," Deuteronomy 6 admonishes us to "impress the commands of God upon our children, to talk about them as we sit at home and walk along the road," and Psalm 78 says that "[God] decreed his statutes and established the law...which He commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them." But the Bible does have a lot to say about the way we respect, encourage, and treat each other, even if we disagree.

It seems so much divides us as moms:  working vs. stay-at-home, public-private vs. home school, classical vs. unschooling, etc. When we remember that what brings us together is a deep desire to do what is best for our families in a way that honors God, we seek to understand one another and stop attacking each other for following the path we feel led by the Holy Spirit to follow.  I, for one, am guilty of casting judgment before I hear all the facts or of allowing stereotypes or preconceived notions to cloud my discernment.  I tend to see all of the world in definitive shades of black and white and do not always practice grace the way I am called by Christ to do.  The anonymity of the Internet also allows us to angrily throw out a comment without forcing us to claim ownership; this simply stifles any meaningful dialogue or useful debate that could be used to improve educational choices in all arenas.  "We have different gifts according to the grace given each of us," and I think that extends to the way we run our households.

Another thing my post was not:  It was not an attack on public schools or teachers.  I love teachers.  I am a teacher.  My sisters, cousins, and closest friends are teachers.  What I am not loving is the trend toward more centralized, federal control of schools, where most of the important decisions about curriculum are stripped from the parents and teachers and are, instead, made by bureaucrats.  I do not like the trend of an increased emphasis on standardized testing and performance-driven education.  I am not happy with top-level-down decision making, where teachers, who should be respected as professionals are given less and less control to practice what they understand are best practices in their classroom.  I resent the lack of control parents are given in the type of education their child receives in school.  In fact, the number one factor for determining whether a child scores well on the ACT or SAT is not how many hours he/she spent preparing, it is whether or not the student was read to throughout childhood.  Parents are critical to educational success whether it takes place in a school, church, or home.  I am a proponent of parent and teacher empowerment in education, and I see that power being stripped.  Few true community schools remain.

While I know there are amazing public schools, where parents make all the difference, there are schools that are failing our children, parents, and teachers.  I earned my Master's degree in education and taught in the public schools.  One of the rudest awakenings was the inability to put into practice all of the wonderful methods I was taught in graduate school.  The reality was 29-30 seventh graders crammed into a classroom, where in one period, I had both my highest achieving students and almost all of my students who had an IEP, not to mention other wonderful boys and girls who fell in the middle.  No matter how well I taught, there were students who were bored, who were lost, or who were distracted by the sheer number of students in the class.  I loved my job, despite the challenges, and I dedicated my heart and soul to teaching, even starting an after-school reading club for my struggling readers.  I did this for no additional pay, volunteering my time to do whatever I could to assist my students and parents.  I did this because I loved my students and their parents and my profession.  I only left the profession, briefly, to focus on my own family and quickly returned to education by volunteering with a program that assists at-risk readers in city schools. My current career is dedicated to helping students who often slip through the cracks of the educational system, while also teaching classes at a home school co-op.  I do not approach this topic as an educational outsider.  The implication that I, and other home schoolers, have turned our backs on public education is absurd and hurtful.  We've chosen the path we feel is best for our family while seeking to find solutions that improve education for all children.

I am not against public school, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't see troubling trends.  I am not the only person concerned.  The Washington Post recently published an article from a kindergarten teacher who sees a disturbing change in educational goals.  The link to her article is here.  My public school teacher friends and I often discuss concerns we see but also discuss the remarkable opportunities that exist, as well.  I am pro-family, pro-quality education, and pro-child.  I believe the goal of education isn't graduation nor is it a good job at the end of a successful run in college.  I believe the goal is to nurture the whole child and like the classical educators whose model was followed for centuries: to strengthen one's mind, body, and character in order to develop the ability to learn anything, to pursue truth, goodness, and beauty and to develop wisdom (The Core p. 35).

While I was stunned by some of the comments left on my post, I absolutely understand where the author was coming from, especially if she felt attacked, but I feel she misunderstood my intention and position, just as I hope I misunderstood some of the implications about home schooling families mentioned in her post.  I have dedicated my career and essentially, my life, to education.  While my family has chosen a path that works with our educational goals, personality, educational philosophy, and lifestyle, I respect the choices made by other parents to do what works best for their families.  I praise God for the freedom to choose.  Two years after our decision to home school, my children are thriving.  I will not apologize for writing about the amazing benefits that homeschooling offers so many families, nor the sometimes difficult realities of home schooling, and I feel this blog is a place where those who have questions, where those who are willing to openly and respectfully debate education, and where those who are looking for encouragement or inspiration can visit without fear of judgment or condescension.  I pray that my writing will be filled with grace, though I can't promise that will always be the case, since I'm so fallibly human.  I ask my readers to extend that same grace.  Together, as parents and teachers, we can work for meaningful, positive educational experiences for all of our children.

Scheduling Frenzy

My schedule is ridiculous.  I reached this groundbreaking revelation when I was trying to diagnose why I had recently been plagued with an overwhelming sense of fatigue.  I would come home from work at 8:30 or 9:00, sit on the couch, look at my husband, and think, "I would really like to have a conversa....zzzzzz."  I wish I were exaggerating.  I would later groggily rouse myself around 10:00 from my late evening nap then plod upstairs where I would collapse into sleep before my husband could find his toothbrush.  Like any intelligent girl, I examined my diet, overhauled my eating habits, made kale and other green leafy things my best friends, began taking multivitamins, dragged myself out of bed every morning at 5 am to go to the gym because we all know exercise gives you energy.  All to no avail.  My body still craved a nap every afternoon, not seeming to care that I had two children with explosive afternoon energy.

Still trying to figure out my dilemma, I decided to examine my schedule, which, my friends, turns out to be a doozy.  Most mornings begin at 5 am, so I can make it home from the gym before my husband leaves for work around 6:45.  On Mondays I drop C off at preschool then A and I head to the home school co-op where I teach from 9-12:15.  I rush to get C from school, grab A something to eat, then head back to teach for another hour and a half.  Monday evenings find me tutoring from 5-8:30 pm.  On Tuesdays, A and I spend our morning schooling then meet one of my best friends for our weekly lunch (one of our treats each week).  That evening I tutor from 5-9.  Wednesdays, I spend 9-4 teaching at the co-op, tutor from 5-6, then head to church from 6-9.  Thursday evenings, following a day filled with home schooling, I tutor from 5-8.  Because my husband works half-days on Fridays, I tutor from noon-6 then on Saturday I work from 9-2.  Sunday is my off-day, but as a choir member and sometimes Sunday school teacher, I hate to admit, but it often seems like work.  This doesn't count the hundreds of pages I read each week to prepare lessons for classes and the individual students I tutor. It also doesn't count the mid-week texts from students who need help with homework, the editing essays via email, and the day-to-day operations of running a business like returning phone calls, emails, and texts. It doesn't count my role as room mom for my son's preschool class.  As a wife and mom, I also have grocery shopping, meal planning and prep (yay, frozen pizza!), house cleaning, and I'm training for a half-marathon because I desperately need to do at least one thing that I love for myself.

Y'all, it is by the grace of God that I am still in an upright position.  If I didn't have such an amazingly helpful husband, who shoulders just as much responsibility as me, I'd be on the floor for sure.  I am one task away from the crew of Intervention showing up on my front porch.  I have at least two friends, I know, prepared to lead the charge. Every moment I am awake is spent teaching, discipling, or raising children.  This kind of schedule strangles friendships; this kind of schedule can eventually strangle a marriage; heck, this kind of schedule is ridiculously close to strangling the joy out of me.

First of all, I realize this is a first-world problem.  Got it.  Waah me. Point taken.  Yes, I am grateful for the work and opportunity to do what I love, including home schooling my children.  That has long been a dream of mine.  (Now, if you tell me to be grateful for all the work to my face, I will round-house kick you then cease to be your friend.)  While all that may be true, it doesn't change the fact that I've lost my joy.  It doesn't make the reality of that work load and it's consequences any less detrimental to my well-being no matter how first world it seems.  It doesn't keep me from questioning if people just expect this sort of performance from me every single day.  This post isn't an attempt to win sympathy or wallow in my selfish attitude; it's simply to crawl in my own head and figure out what on earth I'm doing.  Here's the even crazier part:  I happen to know I'm not alone.  I know a lot of mommas burning the candle at both ends.  This is my attempt to say, "Girls, what are we doing?  Why are we wearing our to-do lists like they're some badge of honor.  Stop.  Stop the madness. Let's get off this crazy train before it drives us straight to the asylum."

It appears I am a performance-driven people pleaser, and it is a curse. I hate confrontation and I can't stand to tell people no.  I hear it in my head then it gets stuck on the way to my tongue.  "N, n, um, sure, I can make that happen."  It's like an out-of-body experience where even as I'm saying it, I can see all the negative consequences of that yes playing out in slow motion before I even finish the sentence of affirmation, but I say it anyway.

Part of my quandary is that I like to think what I do for a living helps people.  In fact, it is an excellent opportunity for ministry.  I have been blessed with opportunities to minister to the families of students who have just experienced a traumatic health diagnosis, the death of a loved one, or just a bad day.  I've made a connection with students who just needed someone to believe in them and help them believe that they are capable of achieving, even when it seems unlikely.  I've shared the gospel and been given countless opportunities to be the hands and feet of Christ. I am able to work with amazing kids, and I love what I do.  When I'm teaching a class full of readers and writers, I'm in the zone.  I love it. I actually have too much fun to consider what I do an actual job.  I also feel that because my business has been so blessed that it is my responsibility and call to work with and help as many children as possible.

Yet, I've been wondering lately if God isn't working to refine me and calling me to the carpet about how this is really simply a struggle with my own pride.  It feels good to be needed.  It's nice to be able to use my gifts to help others, and while I pay lip service to the truth that the success I have as a teacher is because God has blessed me with that gift and is nothing I've done on my own merit, it doesn't seem to change the fact that every time that phone rings, I see it as another opportunity to be recognized and to be needed.  I get to dust off my cape and rush in as Super Teacher, and that is a good feeling.  It's great to hear someone say that I was referred to them by someone else, but it is also appeals dangerously to my pride.   Now, I'm wondering if every time I receive a call, it isn't actually an opportunity to lean on God for discernment and put Him and my family first and say, "No, thank you, but no, my schedule is full until April," and depend on God to meet any financial gaps turning down that person may incur.  Is He showing me that this business has become bigger than Him and the priorities He's given me in caring for my own family?  Have I become so concerned with what other people think of me, that I'm willing to sacrifice my health on the altar of pleasing others?  It's as if my business has become my identity.

My life has become one giant cycle of work.  I rarely have anything to anticipate that doesn't involve teaching.  Even when I'm not working, I'm mentally preoccupied with it.  I feel like I've been placed in a pressure cooker and if something doesn't release the pressure, I might explode.  As moms, I think we look around and see each other seeming to have it all together because we're pretending like mad that we do.  We fall victim to the lie that we can have it all and have it all at once.  It's hard to run a successful business, be a great mom, wife, friend, daughter, and volunteer.  I'm tired of tossing balls in the air, desperately trying not to drop one. I can't give my best when I'm committed to a hundred different activities.  I'm bound to drop the ball, and I'm terrified it's going to be the one that matters most.  What is it that drives us as moms to believe that we're expected to maintain this kind of pace, that by asking for help or by admitting that we're exhausted and can't keep up the pace, we're somehow letting others down?

Even Moses, who had a direct line to God, struggled with setting boundaries in his work. I find it to be no coincidence that the Holy Spirit has brought me to a story in Exodus at least twice this month, a story I had honestly never noticed before in scripture until this past month when I began to feel the weight of my schedule settle heavily upon my shoulders.  In Exodus 18, Moses has just led this massive group of grumbling Israelites out of Egypt and into the desert when his father-in-law Jethro comes to visit.  Moses, I imagine, is much like me sharing with Jethro about all that he is responsible for.  Without him doing it all, surely it wouldn't get done.  I love Jethro's response, "When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing, he said, 'What is this you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning til evening?'"  Moses basically responds, and I'm paraphrasing "If not me, who?  The world will surely stop turning if I don't do all this."  Jethro responds simply, "What you are doing is not good?"  I love that.  He doesn't give him a wake up slap  in the face and shout, "What's wrong with you man!"  He just acknowledges the obvious, which Moses and I apparently have difficulty recognizing.  He then recommends a practical system of judges that will help Moses with his workload.

I felt, through this passage, the Holy Spirit saying, "Julie Anna, what you are doing is not good?"  Even God's friend, the one He handpicked to lead His people out of slavery, couldn't do it all on his own, so God sent Moses the wise counsel of Jethro.  How humbling is that?  Moses could not, nor was he expected to, bear that burden on his own.  I am slowly realizing that it's not up to me to help every child in Birmingham.  God's already given me the task of raising two of the most amazing children I've ever known right under my own roof.  And news flash for me, I'm not the only tutor in Birmingham, nor am I the best....not even close.  Any iota of gift I have comes from God and isn't mine to feel prideful about anyway.

The bottom line is that I'm tired.  I'm tired of spending all day with my own sweet children and while being present physically, failing to be present mentally.  I'm tired of feeling like I'm on edge all hours of the day.  I'm tired of spending all of my free time worrying about what I've forgotten to do, expecting a call at any minute from a distraught parent or student reminding me of an appointment I forgot to record in my calendar.  I'm tired of giving my husband and children what's leftover after everyone else gets a piece of my time.  I'm tired of being three seconds away from crying at any point in the day.  I'm tired of having no meaningful time to spend time with family and friends.  I'm tired of being too tired to do the things that matter most. I'm tired of doing this to myself.  Above all, I'm tired of being too tired to give my best to Christ.

And I know I'm not the only one.  I know so many of us women stretch ourselves to the breaking point thinking that in doing so we're somehow honoring God and our family.  I don't know about you, moms, but I'm ready to lay my crazy schedule at the feet of the One who is never worried, never frazzled, never exhausted, and never in a hurry.  I'm finding it's time to let go of the pride that is driving me to a fall and humbly rest in Jesus.  I hope any other frazzled moms out there will join me in stepping out of time with the frenetic drum beat of the world and fall into step with calm, easy rhythm of the Prince of Peace. "Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you an learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30  It's time I quit always being the teacher and for once, became the student and learned from Him about how to stop doing it all, good things, mind, you, like Martha and instead, like Mary, choose what is better.

Change is Good

The parade of American flags lining neighborhood streets is a reminder that July is already here and like June will be melt into memory faster than my son's afternoon popsicle. With August rapidly approaching, I am reminded that sooner than later it will be time to announce our family's pending adventure. A is already creatively dodging the question, "Where will you be attending school next year?" with a sweet shrug and sidelong glance cast up at Mommy for confirmation of her next move in the conversation. This is followed by a shrug from Mommy and an incoherent mumble of "We're homeschooling next year."

"You're what?"

"Home..mmm.sch....mm.ooling?!"

"Oh, I see."

Depending on the receiver of this groundbreaking news, we're either met with raised eyebrows, a disapproving shake of the head, a gaping stare followed by an awkward moment of wordlessness because apparently, there are none, or a noncommittal, "That's nice." The question that has given me the most pause in answering is "Why?" "Why?" Let's see, well, hmmm, why does anyone homeschool? The reasons are, I'm sure, as varied as the parents who decide to embark on this journey. So it is for my family.

When I began my tutoring business two years ago, I didn't know the difference in an LLC and KFC except that one had excellent mashed potatoes and gravy. Both, it seemed, had a secret recipe that no one was willing to share with this novice entrepreneur. After several slow months, though, business picked up and before I knew it, I was working seven days a week for two month stretches. What began as a way to contribute to my family’s waning income in a down economy had suddenly become a full-time business competing with my favorite priority, full-time mommy-hood.  While I relished the opportunity to be home full-time during the day with my toddler son, I was missing precious time with my daughter.  Our afternoon routine consisted of a whirlwind rush of settling in from school, beginning homework, then Mommy rushing out the door to work as soon as my husband walked in the door.  Knowing that I needed to work, not willing to put C in full-time daycare, but realizing that this arrangement was not going to work for mine and A's critical mother/daughter relationship, I was at a loss for how to change our situation.  Anyone who was close to our family could see this routine was taking its toll on both A and me, yet a reasonable solution did not seem to exist until I had the opportunity to work with a delightful homeschooling family.

What struck me most about this family was how confident, self-assured, intelligent, in a single word, delightful, each of the children seemed to be.  I admit I had a preconceived, unfounded vision of a homeschooling family portrait, and this family didn’t match the painting I had in mind.  This encounter planted the first seed of “what if?”  What if this is the solution my family has been seeking, the opportunity to be home during the day with both of my children, building relationships, learning, enjoying our life and me working in the evenings once my husband got home from work?  Of course, “what if?” was immediately followed by a rush of self-doubt and self-consciousness.  What would the neighbors think?  Would my husband even entertain the idea?  Would people think I’d finally gone off the deep end?  So, I wrestled with the idea discreetly for several months; that is, unless you had access to my library record and could see the dozens of homeschooling books suddenly being checked out to my account.

“What if?” slowly began to morph into “why not,” as I began to research homeschooling and was met with a wealth of information on just how beneficial this style of education can be for families and students.  I was surprised by what I learned, much of which I plan to share in the months to come, so my husband and I began discussing both the positive and negative aspects of this possibility, united in finding a solution that would work best for our family’s situation.

So….back to my original question of “Why?”  Well, in a word, “Because.”  Because, right now, it is what is best for my family.  Because, we can.  I realized through all of the research and soul-searching and prayer that I’d always been a proponent of homeschooling, and the idea was something I’d actually entertained for years.  The idea of sending my six year old off to school for seven-hours-a-day, ten months a year has always been a difficult one for me to accept, and while I realize it’s been that way for parents for a hundred years, it didn’t mean that it was an arrangement that I had to accept because it was “just the way it is.” Recent Supreme Court rulings and homeschooling laws have given parents more freedom in deciding what they believe is the best educational path for their children. 

As I continue to research the history of education and homeschooling, I find great freedom in understanding that, as a parent, I have the choice to decide how I want my children educated; that realization is both empowering and liberating.  Of course, I understand that homeschooling isn’t for everyone nor should it be.  If there is anything else this decision process has taught me, it is that each family’s ministry and place in this world is unique.  The Holy Spirit gifts us each differently, and in matters that aren’t contrary to the authority of Scripture, the Holy Spirit convicts us each in a way that is unique to God’s purpose for our families.  I have spent a great deal of time praying about this decision, specifically for confirmation, which has come in the form of unexepectedly being placed in the path of many homeschooling families over the past few months, of support from family and friends, and of seeing the excitement in my daughter when we discuss the upcoming school year. I've never felt convicted to give up tutoring and continue to receive affirmation that my business also serves an important ministry.  The idea to homeschool has become an ideal solution for my family's unique situation.

One of my greatest fears has been that others would see my decision to homeschool as a condemnation of their choice to send their children to public or private institutions.  On the contrary, as a professional educator, I encourage all families to take advantage of the freedom of choice offered to them concerning their children’s education and to fight for even more opportunity.  As a business owner, failing my customers would be unacceptable; it's time to hold schools and the powers that govern them to the same accountability. 

As a born-educator (my siblings and I turned the intercom system in our family home into a school network, complete with classrooms and a principal’s office), I am also giddy with excitement over the prospects that await A and me.  Once the gut-wrenching decision was finally made, I immediately began discussing curriculum options with my sweet girl!  We have turned the education section of 2nd and Charles into our home away from home.  Learning is seamlessly being woven into the fabric of our everyday life.  How cool is that!  The excitement doesn’t completely assuage the moments of self-doubt or the anxiety of fielding questions, albeit well-meaning ones.  So, I invite you all to join my family and me on this journey.  I’ll be chronicling our adventure and addressing the changing landscape of education on my blog.  I look forward to sharing the ups and downs of being a homeschooling family!