Let's just say day one gets off to a rocky start. There is some weeping, a little gnashing of teeth, and that is just me. After trying unsuccessfully to dry my hair without someone attached to my ankles whining about how bored he/she is, I march downstairs and politely mention to my two that if everyone is so bored with the playroom full of toys then perhaps they could pass the time by filling the garage sale basket with all the items that are producing the boredom. Because that awesome parenting strategy always produces such quality results, I plod back up to the bathroom with two wailing children now attached to my hips declaring how mean I am. Meantime, I mutter how it should be against the law for mothers to have to work.
Back upstairs, amidst the anguished cries of my children, I look longingly at the television for ten minutes wondering how Curious George is faring without the inquisitive eyes of my little ones, I suggest that A and C dust off their imaginations, now dormant from hours of mindless screen viewing and video-app playing, and create something fun to do while Mommy finishes getting ready for work. Yes, I am aware of the danger in such a request, but desperate times.... Minutes later, I hear giggling and lively chatter. Curious, I walk into the playroom and discover my children locked in conversation, while A paints her brother's toe nails....wait, is A painting C's toenails? My daughter has her Hello Kitty manicure/pedicure kit out on the playroom floor, and C has his feet propped on a book. Innocently, I hear, "Mommy, do you want a pedicure before work? It's just a dollar." "Did you charge C?" I ask. "It's just a dollar, Mommy," she affirms. Price gouging and robbing her brother's piggy bank are not exactly what I had in mind, but I do admire her entrepreneurial spirit. Finally, we get into the car to head to the home school co-op, where I teach two days a week, when I hear, "No TV was fun, Mommy."The rest of day one continues to improve. A, C, and I read books, finally get around to exploding the volcano we had molded the week prior, and complete one of the science projects in our new science curriculum. Tucking A in bed later that night, she confesses, "Mommy, TV is boring. This was much more fun." My husband and I close out day one of our media fast with bible study and meaningful conversation rather than sitting on opposite couches lost in Twitter. Perhaps there's something to this fasting from media, after all.
Day two begins much more smoothly with my two immediately going into the playroom after breakfast to find something to play rather than mindlessly lying on the couch watching Super Why. I join them for a few books and a game of My Little Pony before taking C to preschool. The rest of the week progresses in much the same way. A and C grow more independent in navigating life without a screen and less dependent on me for constant suggestions. Life without television, social media, or apps becomes quite marvelous, and as always, God uses this fast to teach me, to convict me, and to love me.I've never been much of a "fast-er." I've always been more of a freedom not law kind of girl when it came to something as inconvenient as a fast. Previous posts reveal that I can be quite legal in other areas but fasting, eh, is that necessary anymore? The lessons learned from 7 shout a resounding, "Yes!" Fasting is a very effective Christian discipline, one God is using to change my life. I believe fasting jars our routine, shakes us from complacency, and issues a wake-up call to a sometimes lethargic approach to our relationship with Christ. A fast wakes us up, drives us to our knees, shakes us to our core, reveals sin yet to be repented, teaches us about our weakness and true dependence on God, and draws us close to the One who loves us more than we can imagine.
To be honest, this was my favorite fast. I'm an avid reader, so I loved the opportunity to share more books with my children and to read with my husband in the evening after my little ones had been tucked tightly in their beds. Granted, he would probably have preferred not to have me share every detail of my book, so he could enjoy his in peace. This was nothing like the despair of giving up chocolate and iced tea (maybe despair is a bit over-dramatic). Rather than spending days in the same outfit, hoping I didn't stink, I truly enjoyed my children. Sure, there were times when I needed a moment to myself and wanted nothing more than to switch on Bob and Larry, but overall, what I gained from this fast was more about conviction and less about self-denial.
This fast became uncomfortable when a wave of conviction fell on me about how I have been over-using television and social media. Don't get me wrong. I am pretty strict about what I allow my children to view. Our parameters include no television programs with advertisements, and most TV viewing should have spiritual or educational value, which means a lot of PBS Kids, Veggie Tales, Magic School Bus, and Adventures in Odyssey, balanced by a healthy dose of viewing for family fun and entertainment. Who doesn't love Brave, How to Train Your Dragon, and Despicable Me? We have even disconnected cable, preferring to top our home off with 21st century rabbit ears for over-the-air television, which for the record means no DVR; I'm just saying, rather sadly, by the way. And while TV does offer an opportunity to discuss how to handle real-world situations with grace and respect, I found that my little ones were watching an hour of PBS kids in the morning, an hour while I made dinner or squeezed in a workout, and a half-hour before bed. That doesn't seem over-the-top, but it adds up to about 2 1/12 hours a day or 17.5 hours a week, which is like an entire day of television watching per week. While much of that time isn't active television watching, it is still on in the background subliminally entering our subconscious.
This figure also doesn't count Leap Pad or I-phone in the car. Has media become my crunch baby-sitter or substitute teacher? While educational videos and apps have value, how much trouble would it be to set up a craft or project for my little ones before making dinner? It is just inconvenient, and let's face it, being a homeschooling/part-time working mommy can sometimes be exhausting, but it's really not about me. This season is short and the values I pass on to my children are invaluable.
All joking aside, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest are all lovely ways to be inspired and to connect to friends and family, but they can also be a major waste of time, a black-hole vortex of time waste. Two minutes to scan your updates can easily turn into forty-five minutes of liking, responding, and reading articles, and the next thing you know it's time for bed and the mountain of laundry you dumped out to fold before morning is still majestically piled to the ceiling fan. Television can have the same effect. An hour of The Voice, thirty minutes of Duck Dynasty, and an hour of the Braves adds up. The next thing you know Mt. Laundrymanjaro has become Everest I've heard of someone, we'll call her Jules, who once spent three hours a night after her children went to bed catching up on two seasons of Downton Abbey,so she'd be caught up for the season premier of season 3. While there's nothing inherently wrong or ignoble or un-praiseworthy about the content of these programs, the time wasted is shameful.
What if I spent that time reading and learning, or what if I spent that two hours of night-time viewing catching up on my scrapbook, or here's an idea: preparing a meal to take to an elderly neighbor or planning a day to give an overworked friend a few hours of free childcare. Social media and television, in an attempt to connect us to the rest of the world, have disconnected us from each other. Wouldn't an evening of visiting with neighbors in the front yard be more worthwhile? When Jesus gave his final command, he told us to go and preach and spread the gospel and make disciples. How often do I complain of not having enough time for service when I have enough time to post 70 pictures of my children dancing to hamster commercials and hear stories about a "friend" spending 18 hours in a week catching up on Downton Abbey. Shame on her... We are quickly losing ground with spreading the gospel in our own country. Could it be that we're so absorbed in our own little media worlds that we've lost touch with those hurting right outside our doors? Are we missing the best moments with our children because Dora is on, my Facebook notification just rang, and Alabama is about to score a touchdown? (Sorry Auburn, we have three combined SEC wins for all our sports this year?!)
Again, it's not that these things are inherently bad, but what if it's becoming an idol? I recently read Kyle Idleman's gods at war, where he shares a story of traveling to India and being surprised to find every chair in the small house he visited being turned to face an idol on a shelf, which may seem ridiculous to Christians in America, that wooden idols would hold power. Yet, he then shares coming home to his den, where every chair in the room faced a large rectangle with colorful moving pictures poised in the middle of the room. His remarks are both telling and convicting. Have we foregone good old-fashioned backyard barbecues and neighborhood block-parties for American Idol and Twitter? Has our love of celebrities and instant news and mindless entertainment become our god? I've often gone to bed after watching a program thinking, "What have I accomplished with that moment of my life?" And while I realize it's impossible to be moving at full-force day-in and day-out, and we need time to unwind, those moments add up to become hours and days. I've felt compelled this week by the Holy Spirit, not just to evaluate my media choices, but to evaluate how I spend my time, and I think that has been the most eye-opening element of this entire experience.
What we consider unwinding, too, may actually be winding us tighter than that little pink bunny with the drum. According to Jen Hatmaker's 7, "juggling email, phone calls, and other incoming information can change how people think and behave. They say our ability to focus is being undermined by bursts of information. The stimulation provokes excitement-a dopamine squirt- that researchers say can be addictive. In its absence, people feel bored......And for millions of people...these urges can inflict nicks and cuts on creativity and deep thought, interrupting work and family life" (102). So, we are actually altering our brain chemistry and not in a good way. We've become so wired that unplugging can cause distress and withdrawal. That really disturbs me. When I consider that God created us for meaningful fellowship, that our life mission as believers is to spread the gospel, and that we are crumbling as a culture faster than overcooked cookies makes me want to do more than just pull the plug on cable.
Of course, we, as Christians, also need to be relevant and aware. Christ's call to be as gentle as doves is also coupled with shrewd as serpents. We need to understand what's happening in our world to better serve and minister in our world. Striking balance is critical but not impossible when guided by the loving hand of the Holy Spirit. While this week wasn't overly difficult for me, it was a wake up call forcing me to evaluate my use of media, particularly where my children are concerned. So, sure, there were moments when I almost broke down and allowed Curious George to explore the Johnson household, I found that when I plugged into my imagination, fun and creativity often followed. My children rediscovered their own imaginations and favorite toys and books and even began to depend on each other more for entertainment. This week became a turning point in their brother/sister relationship. It also allowed my husband and me to actually sit and listen to each other without the din of television in the background. The lessons learned from this week our family plans to incorporate into our lives, like media-less days twice a week. So if I don't return your email for a few days, don't panic; I'm just unplugging from media for a little while and plugging into my God and my family.
1 comment:
thank you for sharing and good for you mama!
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