Five Things You Should Probably Not Say to an Injured Runner (or any athlete for that matter)

Let's just say I've experienced my fair share of running injuries.  I've racked up as many injuries as I have race medals:  fractures, bursitis, plantar fasciitis, Morton's neuroma, IT-band syndrome, sprained ankle....and am currently awaiting the results of a recent MRI on my foot, an injury I actually incurred while playing hopscotch with my children.  Clearly, I was born to run!  I reckon I've received just about every reaction imaginable whenever I share that the reason I'm sidelined or in a boot yet again is from participating in the sport I love.  The responses run the gamut from empathy to incredulity, but there are a few that raise the ire of any lover of sport, so here is a list of five things you should refrain from saying to an injured runner, all of which have been said to me, at least once.

1.  Let me get this straight.  You're upset because you can't run 5, 10, 13.1, 26.2 miles......

Why, yes, I'm a little miffed that I just finished a twenty mile run two days ago for a marathon that I now can't complete because I have a broken ankle.  (That actually happened a few years ago.)  Just a smidgen to the right of disappointed and one notch away from bring on the ice cream, no, not the pint, the gallon, so I can smother my woes with caramel sauce and whipped cream.  You've read the bumper stickers; we runners run to eat, right?  Oh, wait, no, I can't run.  Just kidding.  Hold the ice cream.  I'll just have the caramel.

I apparently have the sort of demeanor where people feel comfortable saying anything to me, (i.e. a lady at a store once remarked to the clerk that I apparently don't care about my appearance because I had failed to wear makeup or my ex-pedicurist, who said my daughter was beautiful, so she must take after her father).  A couple of years ago, my ex-orthopedist actually laughed at me when I began crying once he shared the news that after four months of intense training, I would not be able to run a marathon because I had fractured my ankle.  He LAUGHED at me.  Yes, I take my running seriously. It takes six months to train for a race and about two to lose aerobic capacity.  This also makes it really frustrating because an athlete can go from the being in the best shape of her life to out of shape in a matter of weeks, which is how long recovery takes.  Wouldn't you be upset if you spent four months striving for a goal that someone ripped away just as it was days within reach?


2.  Running injury.  That's such a first-world problem, isn't it?   (Usually followed by awkward, annoying chuckle)

Nothing gets my Lululemon dog walking pants in a wad faster than this groundbreaking revelation.  Yes, I realize in the grand scheme of things that my inability to train for a few months doesn't amount to much, and chances are I've probably already been reciting this truth to myself multiple times in an effort to keep things in perspective.  In fact,  I toss this phrase around all the time when referring to my own inconveniences, but early on in my injury when I'm still reeling or late into my injury when I haven't had the stress-relieving benefits of exercise probably isn't the most apropos time to point this out to me.  Otherwise, I might have to restrain myself from taking my Prada purse and bopping you over the head.  Just kidding, I don't have a Prada purse; mine came from the Naturalizer outlet off the clearance rack. Runners know our injuries are first-world problems.  We also know that we are very blessed to be able to participate in running at all.  There are many individuals who aren't even able to walk.  Runners understand this and are beyond grateful for our abilities.  This realization, though, doesn't make injury any less annoying, painful, or disappointing.  In fact, many of us train specifically to benefit causes that we passionately support like building wells in developing nations or to raise money for cancer research.

3.  Running, huh?  If I'm ever running you better join in cause something's chasing me.

Yes, probably a mob of angry runners on crutches....  This statement is my favorite.  Ha!  IT. NEVER. GETS. OLD.  As a matter of fact, I heard it today from my MRI technician.  Ahhh, good times.....


4.  If you'd been sitting on the couch eating ice cream, this would have never happened.

Speechlessness usually follows this statement, then a stunned, "Ya serious?"  Yes, my commitment to exercise sometimes brings injury but so does sitting on the couch eating ice cream.  That practice can injure the heart, colon, brain, even.  As a matter of fact, this is a serious problem in America.  Maybe not the sitting on the couch eating ice cream, specifically.  (I like ice cream, all right....but I'm Paleo, so maybe, I miss it a little.)  Obesity and inactivity are serious dilemmas.  Perhaps distance running is a little extreme but so is inactivity, so what causes me to cringe about this non sequitir is that it's a dangerous one.  I might get injured so I'm going to sit on the couch and do nothing isn't really an option for me.  I prefer to accept the risks that living life to what I believe is its fullest might sometimes bring.

5.  Hey, now you have an excuse not to exercise.  

Yup, I was looking for a reason not to exercise, so I decided to break a foot, twist an ankle, injure a knee.  If someone is injured training for a triathlon then perhaps she isn't really looking for an excuse to avoid exercise.  Exercise makes me happy.  It releases endorphins, relieves stress, burns calories, makes my body more adept at controlling insulin, protects against heart disease, cancer, and Alzheimer's, improves mood, has been shown to alleviate depression as effectively as antidepressants, prevents memory and muscle loss as I age.

Ok, so I've been harsh, but for those of us who really love to run, bike, swim, step, dance, Cross Fit, weight lift, walk, Yoga, fill in the blank, not being able to participate in our sport can be down right depressing.  See how snarky I've become, and I've only been sidelined for a week.  If you aren't sure what to say, here's what every injured athlete would love to hear:

Bless your heart.  You know, I may not get your commitment to this particular sport, but I realize this must be quite a disappointment for you.  I'm sorry you're injured.  Would you like to go get a (Paleo-approved coconut milk) ice cream covered in (75% cacao) chocolate? My treat.

I'll eat to that!  And, maybe, when I've healed, we could even go for a nice, easy jog.