How Lovely Is Your Dwelling Place

I am a woman, so it might not come as a groundbreaking revelation to discover that I have struggled with body image. Who am I kidding? Struggle is a mild understatement, declared all-out war on my body might be a more apt description. In high school and college, I would spend months eating nothing all day, or sometimes would allow my self a pretzel and glass of water. My 5'8" frame, at one time, carried a mere 108 lbs. Looking back, it was not attractive, but to me, thin meant beautiful.

What led to this trip down memory lane? My morning bible study. I'm completing a study written by Jennifer Rothschild, who, this morning, focused on what we say to ourselves about our body. Hmmm...what do I say to myself about my body? For years, I beat myself up for eating too much or for not working out enough. I derided my lack of self-control and discipline. I even prayed for help to make it to my idea of an ideal weight, influenced by airbrushed pictures of models who had live-in chefs and personal trainers. I spent a lot of time consumed with.....myself. And I discovered that obsession with body image is really an obsession with self. How selfish?!

I've since made peace with my body. It's been a long, hard road fueled by prayer, by bible study, and by learning about what this body is truly capable of regardless of its weight. (I also quit reading fashion magazines.) As a matter of fact, after running and training for marathons and having two children, I now view my body as a magnificent miracle capable of so much. There are still days I fret too long in the mirror about cellulite or wrinkles. But my goal is to no longer judge my body for its appearance; I'm learning the art of moderation in both food and exercise and have discovered that life is about so much more than weight and inches. It's about so much more than me.

And because of my study today, I'm learning to look at my body in yet another light. I've long been familiar with the following verses: "Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?" 1 Cor. 3:16 and "Or do you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?" 1 Cor. 6:19. And very often, when studying these scriptures, the lesson has centered on drug or alcohol abouse or on taking care of yourself but rarely have I been prompted to think about these verses in light of body image. Today, I was challenged to also view my body as God's dwelling place. The place God chooses to house his Holy Spirit.

Rothschild tells the story of discovering another verse to medidate on in light of the above two while sweating it out on her treadmill. She heard, while working out, this from her bible on tape: "How lovely are your dwelling places O Lord of hosts!" Psalm 84:1. So, let me get this straight. My body is a dwelling place for the Lord, AND it is lovely. Lovely. No matter what it weighs, how cut my abs and biceps are, or no matter what size jeans I wear. My body is lovely because it is the dwelling place of God. What freedom is there in that!

It pains me to see so many wonderful women of all shapes and sizes live and die by what the scale or some label in their clothing says. We are so much more than that; we are mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, women who nurture, love, give, and have so much to offer no matter what we look like. Most importantly, we are God's handiwork.

No more self-loathing. It's about Him, not me, and there are no brownie points in heaven for beating myself up. When we self-hate, we still center on self and put down the place Christ chooses to dwell. Of course, the flip side is loving ourselves too much, but I don't know too many women who over-love their bodies. Being in the place where I am completely obsessed with self, in a loving or hateful manner, in any capacity, is a lonely place to be.

I am finding the realization of my body being a temple of the Lord and applying that to how I view and treat my own body to be such a life-changing discovery. Of course, because of that realization, there is a responsibility to care for our bodies but with common sense. Something I lacked all those years ago. I've discovered like so many things in life; it is about finding balance and about focusing on the Creator of my body, not my body itself.